

I'm weird. I own that. One of the reasons why I say that because I'm definitely the kind of person whose idea of a good time is chillin' on my couch and reading a book. At the same time, whenever I do go out, I wouldn't exactly call myself a wallflower. Most of my friends trip over how easy it is for me to meet a stranger and have them tell me their entire life story in seven minutes or less.
That's why, if I had to choose between whether I'm an introvert or an extrovert, I'd have to say it's about a 60/40 split in favor of being introverted. Matter of fact, some of the personality tests that I've taken have told me that I am an extroverted introverted. Or, as a recent test revealed, I am an ambivert. What the heck is that? In a nutshell, it's someone who doesn't totally identify with being an extrovert or an introvert; there are things about you that are a spot-on reflection of both.
While, on the surface, it might seem like this relatively new term is indicative of most of the population, a lot of reputable therapists believe that only about 20 percent of the population are true ambiverts. That's because other traits of ambiverts are their nervous system is highly intuitive, they can handle the extremes of various personalities and situations pretty well, and they are relatively good listeners and speakers too.
If in your mind, you're thinking that this sounds more and more like you but you're still not totally sure, I've got five other pretty telling signs that an ambivert is exactly what you are.
5 Signs You're An Ambivert
1.You Love a Good Party—to a Point
I'm the kind of person who can go to a concert or party and not only hang out but entertain those around me for a couple of hours. Then suddenly, without much warning, I'm totally over it and ready to go. It's like the energy got totally sucked out of me and I can't wait to get home and recharge—alone.
If this made you be like "Yeah, me too!" then you just might be an ambivert. Because you're able to cultivate a rapport with those around you, it's hard for you to process people as casual or background noise. You tend to make connections, whether you're looking to or not. That's why, after a little while of being around so many of them, you're ready to bounce.
2.You Hate Small Talk. You're All for Meaningful Conversations.
I can totally relate to this one. Another indicator of being an ambivert is small talk doesn't make much sense to you. That's why, if someone calls you about making plans, you might prefer to text. Or, if someone at the office is saying a lot of nothing, you find yourself getting irritated.
On the other hand, if someone has a real problem or even if you're looking for some advice, you can find yourself chopping it up in a coffee shop for three hours without even noticing the time. Anything that involves emotions, empathy, and growth, you're all about it. Niceties? Not so much.
3.You Can Handle Attention but You'd Prefer to Observe
When you receive a compliment, you say "thank you." When you're selected to present something to the staff at work, you shine. A man you're interested in strikes up a conversation and you're more than capable of holding his attention. What this all boils down to is you're very comfortable with getting attention. But if you had to choose, you'd rather walk into a room and observe people's energy and actions for a while. Some experts define this as being "situational introversion" because while you may enjoy being relatively quiet at a nightclub, you might go to a seminar and be the star of the show.
That's another thing about ambiverts—they lean towards being extroverted in learning environments but oftentimes are pretty introverted anywhere else. They engage growth. Entertainment? They can take it or leave it.
4.You're a Social Equalizer
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Since an ambivert is so good at observing the energy and body language of those around them, they also have the reputation for being the ultimate kind of equalizer. If they are around someone who is super chatty, their ability to listen can help to calm that kind of person down. Or, if they're around someone who is really shy, their desire to make a true connection will help to bring them out of their shell.
For an ambivert, doing this doesn't require a lot of forethought or even effort. It basically comes very naturally to them.
5.You're Drawn to Creative, Counseling or Management Positions
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And just what kind of job would be fitting for an ambivert? Anywhere that having this kind of personality doesn't seem odd or strange. Professions where they are given just the kind of space that they need to thrive.
Off the bat—the solitude that comes from being a creative (or entrepreneur), the empathy that comes along with being a life coach, counselor, or therapist; even the ability to see all sides that comes with being an effective manager or supervisor.
If you've been researching what it means to be an introvert and extrovert for a while now, but this is the first time you've read something that made you feel like you've finally found your fit, congrats! Welcome to the wonderful—and relatively small—world of being a bonafide ambivert.
How's it feel?
How's it feel?
Featured image by Getty Images.
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Devale Ellis On Being A Provider, Marriage Growth & Redefining Fatherhood
In this candid episode of the xoMAN podcast, host Kiara Walker talked with Devale Ellis, actor, social media personality, and star of Zatima, about modern masculinity, learning to be a better husband, emotional presence in marriage, fatherhood for Black men, and leading by example.
“I Wasn’t Present Emotionally”: Devale Ellis on Marriage Growth
Devale Ellis On Learning He Was a ‘Bad Husband’
Ellis grew up believing that a man should prioritize providing for his family. “I know this may come off as misogynistic, but I feel like it’s my responsibility as a man to pay for everything,” he said, emphasizing the wise guidance passed down by his father. However, five years into his marriage to long-time partner Khadeen Ellis, he realized provision wasn’t just financial.
“I was a bad husband because I wasn’t present emotionally… I wasn’t concerned about what she needed outside of the resources.”
Once he shifted his mindset, his marriage improved. “In me trying to be of service to her, I learned that me being of service created a woman who is now willing to be of service to me.”
On Redefining Masculinity and Fatherhood
For Ellis, “being a man is about being consistent.” As a father of four, he sees parenthood as a chance to reshape the future.
“Children give you another chance at life. I have four different opportunities right now to do my life all over again.”
He also works to uplift young Black men, reinforcing their worth in a world that often undermines them. His values extend to his career—Ellis refuses to play roles that involve domestic violence or sexual assault.
Watch the full episode below:
On Marriage, Family Planning, and Writing His Story
After his wife’s postpartum preeclampsia, Ellis chose a vasectomy over her taking hormonal birth control, further proving his commitment to their partnership. He and Khadeen share their journey in We Over Me, and his next book, Raising Kings: How Fatherhood Saved Me From Myself, is on the way.
Through honesty and growth, Devale Ellis challenges traditional ideas of masculinity, making his story one that resonates deeply with millennial women.
For the xoMAN podcast, host Kiara Walker peels back the layers of masculinity with candid conversations that challenge stereotypes and celebrate vulnerability. Real men. Real stories. Real talk.
Want more real talk from xoMAN? Catch the full audio episodes every Tuesday on Spotify and Apple Podcasts, and don’t miss the full video drops every Wednesday on YouTube. Hit follow, subscribe, and stay tapped in.
Featured image by YouTube/xoNecole
From Rock Bottom To Redemption: Paula Patton Opens Up About Her New Film 'Finding Faith'
When Paula Patton’s name is on a project, you already know it’s going to bring some soul. From Jumping the Broom to Baggage Claim, she’s long been a radiant presence on-screen. But in her new film Finding Faith, premiering in theaters June 16–17 via Fathom Events, Paula digs deeper—into grief, healing, and ultimately, redemption.
The film follows Faith Mitchell, a wife and mother whose life is upended by a devastating loss. As she spirals into despair, it’s the love of family, friends, and God that slowly leads her back to light. And for Paula, this story wasn’t just a role—it was personal.
“It connected to a time in my life that I could really relate to,” she says. “That feeling of having lost so much and feeling like so much pain, and not knowing how to deal with the pain… and numbing out to do that.”
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A Story That Hit Close to Home
Having been sober for seven years, Paula says the emotional territory was familiar. But more than anything, it brought her closer to a deeper truth.
“Once you give [the numbing] up, you have to walk in the desert alone… and that’s when I truly found faith in God.”
Turning Pain Into Purpose
While the film touches on loss and addiction, Finding Faith ultimately lives up to its title. Paula describes the acting process as cathartic—and one she was finally ready for.
“Art became healing,” she says. “That was the biggest challenge of all… but it was a challenge I wanted.”
More Than an Inspirational Thriller
Finding Faith is described as an “inspirational thriller,” with layered tones of romance, suspense, and spiritual reflection. Paula credits that dynamic blend to writer-director LazRael Lison.
“That’s what I love about Finding Faith,” she explains. “Yes, she goes on this journey, but there’s other storylines happening that help it stay entertaining.”
"Finding Faith" cast
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On-Set Magic with Loretta Devine
With a cast stacked with phenomnal talent—Loretta Devine, Keith David, Stephen Bishop—it’s no surprise that the film also came alive through unscripted moments.
“We did this kitchen scene… and Loretta changed it,” Paula shares. “She wouldn’t leave. I had to change my dance and figure out how to work with it, and it took on this whole other layer. I’m forever grateful.”
Faith When It Feels Like Night
The film leans on the biblical verse: “Weeping may endure for a night, but joy comes in the morning.” Paula says that reminder is something she’s lived.
“When you’re feeling so anxious, and you look out in the distance and see nothing there… that’s when you have to trust God’s timing.”
Divine Timing Behind the Scenes
Paula didn’t just star in the film—she produced it through her company, Third Eye Productions. And the way the opportunity came to her? Nothing short of divine.
“I said, ‘Just for one week, believe everything’s going to be perfect,’” she recalls. “That same day, my friend Charles called and said, ‘I have a film for you. It’s called Finding Faith.’ I thought I was going to throw the phone down.”
What’s Next for Paula Patton?
When asked about a dream role, Paula didn’t name a genre or a character. Her focus now is on legacy—and light.
“I want to make sure I keep making art that entertains people, but also has hope… That it has a bright light at the end to get us through this journey here on Earth.”
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