

Everyone thinks that since some people are extremely outgoing, that everything is all good with that person. But, even the strong friend goes through private battles sometimes.
As someone who is an extrovert, I've been the outgoing, lively, people-loving person of the group. As an extrovert, I've also dealt with depression for a very long time.
Model: Fontaine Felisha Foxworth Photo: Charles Lyles @lylesimage
My exterior is genuine, but it is often an armor for how I've dealt with my personal despair and feelings of alienation from others throughout the years. Contrary to popular belief, extremely extroverted people are the greatest empathic observers of life, however, they don't always show it.
If you are someone who is always the life of the party, the storyteller, the comedian, the wild card, or the most outspoken person in the group, it's likely that you may be used to everyone thinking that you are rarely sad or feeling blue. Perhaps you're like me and your extroverted ways cover up some very private woes that you seem to handle alone.
No matter how alone you feel, understand that you are important, you are loved, you matter, and you are on this earth for a reason. Depression is very real and can often lead to feelings of defeat, but it isn't impossible to overcome. The following list include ways that I, as an extroverted millennial empath fight my own battle with depression and how you can too.
Shout & Cry It Out
Model: Fontaine Felisha FoxworthPhoto: Charles Lyles @lylesimage
When I'm feeling weighed down by sadness, sometimes it helps me to let it go by screaming as loudly as I can. This is obviously something you do in the privacy of your own home when no one is around, or out in nature where no one can hear you. Ask God, the universe, your spirit guides, or whomever you ask for guidance, for urgent help in your time of need. Tell them how you have been feeling, and what you have been going through. Curse at them if you have to! Demand answers! You might sound crazy to yourself, but you will feel 100% lighter once you let it go.
It might help to close all your windows, and sit in a closet to muffle the sound. Once you get the frustration out, tears may naturally fall, and you will feel a soothing release.
Dance Your Heart Out
Model: Fontaine Felisha FoxworthPhoto: Charles Lyles @lylesimage
In your room or private space, put on some music that makes you happy and stirs your soul. Allow your body to translate the rhythms, vibrations, frequencies, and emotions of the music. When you are extroverted, speech is not the only way that you express yourself. Through moving your body, you can nonverbally extend your extroverted nature. Sometimes going out and dancing can take your mind off any heaviness in your heart.
The mantra "dancing like nobody's watching" has lifted my vibration and helped elevate my low spirits. I show out when I'm dancing! Sometimes music is not even necessary. Dancing to the sounds of nature is very healing. Go to the beach or the park to release any pain you may feel by dancing. I like to record myself dancing and share it with the world. Express yourself and surrender to release.
Be Transparent On Social Media
Model: Fontaine Felisha FoxworthPhoto: Charles Lyles @lylesimage
One thing that extroverted people have in common is that they are very transparent about the many troubles in their lives. Being honest in this day and age can be hard to do when we are surrounded by such superficiality. If you have an Instagram or Facebook account, don't be afraid to speak your truth openly to others. As long as you are authentic, you will receive an outpouring of support from folks that you didn't even know are watching.
You inspire more people than you even realize. People like Cardi B and Letitia Wright are rising to success by gaining more than just followers. They are gaining empathy and support from people who are moved by their realness, extroverted individuality, and their willingness to speak their truth. You also never know who you could help get through their own tough times just by sharing your honesty.
Transmute Any Sadness Through Creativity & Imagination
Model: Fontaine Felisha FoxworthPhoto: Charles Lyles @lylesimage
One of the greatest things that got me out of one of the lowest depressive points in my adult life was the inspiration I received for a creative project I created, originally called Brown Girl Tarot. On top of becoming ill, I was experiencing what spiritualists call the "Dark Knight of The Soul." The depths of my despair was darker than anything I had ever experienced before. I was suicidal and malnourished. I stayed inside my house for days on end without eating or showering. It was as if I was in another dimension of pain and depression.
The only thing that saved me was expression of my imagination, visions, and dreams through divinely-inspired creativity. My bright future in lightworking, humanitarianism, writing, filmmaking, and entrepreneurship is what keeps me elevated. Out of that sinister darkness came light and healing through art, imagination, and spirituality.
Find Yourself Through A Spiritual Journey
Model: Fontaine Felisha FoxworthPhoto: Charles Lyles @lylesimage
Last but not least on this list, is the importance of experiencing a spiritual journey of enlightenment. I call my own ascension, "Finding Fontaine." By understanding the importance of the seven chakras in the human body, I was able to balance my energy to overcome ongoing depression. This is something that anyone, with any kind of personality, should utilize to overcome the darkness of depression. It takes work and dedication to constantly work with your aura to remain mentally, emotionally, spiritually, and physically healthy.
You were given the personality that you have, on this earth for a reason. The universe makes no mistakes. Transmute all the alienation that you have ever felt in the past because of your outgoing qualities, to not only heal yourself first and foremost - but to be of service to the collective well-being of all humanity.
Once you embark on the transformative journey of spiritual ascension, your extroverted persona will only allow you to shine brighter as a beacon of light to others.
Are you the extrovert in your friend group? How do you overcome feelings of depression or sadness when everyone sees you as the "strong friend"? Let us know in the comments down below.
- What It's Like To Be An Extrovert With Depression | Thought Catalog ›
- Why Depression Symptoms Are More Common in Introverts ... ›
- The 4 Differences Between Introversion and Social Anxiety - Quiet ... ›
- Why Extroverts Are so Needy | Psychology Today ›
- How to Cope as a Highly Sensitive Extrovert | Psychology Today ›
- Coping with Depression: Tips for Overcoming Depression One Step ... ›
- Fifteen Simple Ways To Overcome Depression And Sadness ›
- How to Overcome Depression (with Pictures) - wikiHow ›
- Depression: 7 Powerful Tips to Help You Overcome Bad Moods ... ›
- 12 Steps To Overcome Depression ›
- 10 Natural Depression Treatments ›
- Overcoming depression | TED Talks ›
Fontaine Felisha Foxworth is a writer and creative entrepreneur from Brooklyn New York. She is currently on the West Coast working on creating a TV Pilot called "Finding Fontaine", that details the nomadic journey of her life so far. Keep up with her shenanigans @famoustaine on IG.
Devale Ellis On Being A Provider, Marriage Growth & Redefining Fatherhood
In this candid episode of the xoMAN podcast, host Kiara Walker talked with Devale Ellis, actor, social media personality, and star of Zatima, about modern masculinity, learning to be a better husband, emotional presence in marriage, fatherhood for Black men, and leading by example.
“I Wasn’t Present Emotionally”: Devale Ellis on Marriage Growth
Devale Ellis On Learning He Was a ‘Bad Husband’
Ellis grew up believing that a man should prioritize providing for his family. “I know this may come off as misogynistic, but I feel like it’s my responsibility as a man to pay for everything,” he said, emphasizing the wise guidance passed down by his father. However, five years into his marriage to long-time partner Khadeen Ellis, he realized provision wasn’t just financial.
“I was a bad husband because I wasn’t present emotionally… I wasn’t concerned about what she needed outside of the resources.”
Once he shifted his mindset, his marriage improved. “In me trying to be of service to her, I learned that me being of service created a woman who is now willing to be of service to me.”
On Redefining Masculinity and Fatherhood
For Ellis, “being a man is about being consistent.” As a father of four, he sees parenthood as a chance to reshape the future.
“Children give you another chance at life. I have four different opportunities right now to do my life all over again.”
He also works to uplift young Black men, reinforcing their worth in a world that often undermines them. His values extend to his career—Ellis refuses to play roles that involve domestic violence or sexual assault.
Watch the full episode below:
On Marriage, Family Planning, and Writing His Story
After his wife’s postpartum preeclampsia, Ellis chose a vasectomy over her taking hormonal birth control, further proving his commitment to their partnership. He and Khadeen share their journey in We Over Me, and his next book, Raising Kings: How Fatherhood Saved Me From Myself, is on the way.
Through honesty and growth, Devale Ellis challenges traditional ideas of masculinity, making his story one that resonates deeply with millennial women.
For the xoMAN podcast, host Kiara Walker peels back the layers of masculinity with candid conversations that challenge stereotypes and celebrate vulnerability. Real men. Real stories. Real talk.
Want more real talk from xoMAN? Catch the full audio episodes every Tuesday on Spotify and Apple Podcasts, and don’t miss the full video drops every Wednesday on YouTube. Hit follow, subscribe, and stay tapped in.
Featured image by YouTube/xoNecole
Calling All Lovers: October London, Tamar Braxton & Ro James Deliver A Soulful Serenade
If there was ever a night to pull out your best leather jacket, call up an old flame, and lean into your soft, sultry era, The October Nights: Calling All Lovers tour was it.
Presented by Black Promoters Collective, the show brought an evening of lush vocals, smooth grooves, and unapologetic grown-folks business to Atlanta—with Ro James, Tamar Braxton, and the man of the hour, October London, leading the charge. The energy? Sensual. The vibe? Intoxicating (literally and figuratively—more on that in a minute).
Ro James kicked off the night with his signature raspy vocals and a cool confidence that immediately set the tone. While “Permission” was the undeniable crowd favorite (with couples slow-dancing in their seats and people swaying with their phones in the air), he also dug deeper into his catalog, delivering seductive mid-tempos and moody ballads that reminded us he’s not a one-hit wonder—he’s a whole vibe.
Next up, Tamar Braxton took the stage with diva energy and vocal acrobatics that had the crowd on their feet. Her set was a perfect mix of emotion and edge—songs like “My Man,” “All the Way Home,” and “Love & War” hit every heartstring, but she didn’t stop there.
Tamar tapped into her earlier work, showing her full vocal range and reminding everyone that she’s one of the most powerful voices of her generation. Between tracks, she got personal with the audience, sharing laughs and stories like we were all cousins at the family reunion.
Oh—and in case you missed it: “Braxtons are coming back.” 👀 Consider that a soft launch if we’ve ever heard one.
Then came the velvet king himself: October London.
From the moment he stepped on stage, it felt like time slowed down. Backed by a silky live band and powerhouse background vocalists The Shindellas — Kaso, Stacy, and Tam, October’s set was pure R&B indulgence.
He opened with songs like “She Keeps Calling” and “Make Me Wanna,” blending retro soul with modern sensuality. Every note was intentional, every lyric soaked in emotion.
“Touch On Me” and “3rd Shift” had the crowd in a trance, while “Lovers Interlude” and “You Look Better” brought things to a tender, candlelit close.
And because this is October London we’re talking about—of course, he came with the charm. “If I come down there and sing with you,” he teased one woman in the front row, “you gon’ get pregnant.” The entire room screamed.
He also took a moment to introduce his newest venture—a signature whiskey that he’s currently promoting on tour. Smooth music, smooth vocals, smooth whiskey? A trifecta for the grown and sexy.
To top off the night, there was even a surprise pop-up from Tyrese, sending the crowd into full nostalgic overload.
By the end of the night, it was clear: this wasn’t just a concert—it was a love letter to R&B. The October Nights: Calling All Lovers tour captured the essence of grown-up intimacy, storytelling, and soul. No gimmicks. Just real voices, real feelings, and really good music.
If October London is the future of modern soul, we’re all in.
Let’s make things inbox official! Sign up for the xoNecole newsletter for love, wellness, career, and exclusive content delivered straight to your inbox.
Feature image by Geoffrey Clowes/ Shutterstock